NOTE: If you missed The Jeffrey Dean Show this week, you can download the podcast now.
Each week, I will also include condensed notes from the show here. You can listen each week to The Jeffrey Dean Show from 9-11 pm CST on Nashville’s Super Talk 99.7 WTN.
HOUR 1: SEGMENT 1
Good evening. It’s 9 pm and this is The Jeffrey Dean Show.
I’m your host Jeffrey Dean. And, I want to welcome you the show that is helping build strong families. Happy Father’s Day to fathers everywhere tonight!
A big “hello” to everyone listening tonight. Our show launched last week and we are hearing from people everywhere. We received many posts & comments while on-air last week:
Keith in Nashville said, “Thanks for all you do for the family.”
Kim in Michigan said, “Hitting it hard right out of the gate – way to go!”
Audre in Africa posted “ I listened in Africa! So proud of you and your words of truth!”
If you have a comment for us, a topic you’d like for us to tackle, or a question you would like for me to read on-air, you can email me at Jeffrey@jeffreydean.com or find me on all social media at: iamjeffreydean.
Family is unlike anything else ever on the planet! There is nothing that impacts you, shapes you, at times angers you, frustrates you, but also fulfills you and brings you joy like your family. There are billions of families on the planet, but interestingly, there are no two families alike!
Have you ever thought about this – billions upon billions of people have walked and are now walking our planet? Each is intricately connected to a family. But, of all the families in the history of time since Creation, there are no two the same.
Your family – with all of its fascination – with all of its funk –is unique. And, like it or not, your family is the only family you have.
So, the question is, “What is your role in helping make your family – family strong?”
Well, fortunately for you, you’ve come to the right place! On the Jeffrey Dean Show, I’m here to help you get better at doing exactly this – helping your family become family strong!
DEEP DIVE SEGMENT
“Social media is training us to COMPARE our lives, instead of appreciating everything we are. No wonder why everyone is always depressed.” – Actor, Bill Murray
Right?! He’s exactly right!
On average, there are 123 suicides a day in America.
With the news of designer icon Kate Spade ending her life on June 5.
And, the news June 8 of celebrity chef Anthony Bourdain, once again everyone is talking about suicide.
I have to believe there is a connection, as Mr. Murray said, with social media and depression. Especially, as it relates to our kids.
Social media is a mess!
I know in our home there have been times when one of my daughter’s has viewed her Snap Chat streaks to see friends together doing something somewhere to which she wasn’t invited. My daughter’s live in a home where mom and dad love them, engage constantly in conversation with them, work hard to stay involved in their lives – – yet, the power of social media’s influence from just one picture my daughter sees can, if only momentary, supersede the love and attention Amy and I give her.
Social media and this generation is unlike anything we’ve ever seen before. Our kids are allowing a post, a comment, a picture, and a streak to define how they view themselves and the perception they have of how others view them.
One picture can change their attitude. One post can disturb an entire day.
Hollywood knows this – the most popular series in the history of Netflix, 13 Reasons Why –a story about a girl, Hannah, who commits suicide and leaves behind 13 tapes for people in her life as evidence for why she killed herself – the downward spiral in her life began when Justin took a picture of Hannah in what appeared to be an inappropriate intimate moment (though it wasn’t), and the picture went viral on campus.
Dads, as we celebrate you tonight – I want to remind you that in many ways this all begins with us. NO – we are not better than our moms, our wives…we are not more important than them. We are a team with them.
But, I do know as a father, I hold a special place of influence in my daughter’s hearts. I play a critical role of defense against the social media madness. And, I must work hard to instill truth, love, virtue, and self-worth in my daughter’s lives by how I live before them, how I treat them, and how I stay involved in their lives!
HOUR 1: SEGMENT 2
So, do you know this quote? “Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”
If you are smiling right now, it’s possible you are remembering your favorite scene from the 1987 film The Princess Bride. One of my all-time favorites! If you haven’t seen the movie, you need to…right after you finish listening tonight! I have many favorite scenes from this movie. If you’ve seen it, you do too!
One of my favorites is the wedding scene with Prince Humperdinck and Buttercup?The Impressive Clergyman stole the scene!
The Impressive Clergyman: “Mawage. Mawage is wot bwings us togeder tooday. Mawage, that bwessed awangment, that dweam wifin a dweam… And wuv, tru wuv, will fowow you foweva… So tweasure your wuv.
Prince Humperdinck: “Skip to the end.”
The Impressive Clergyman: “Have you the wing?
One of the most moving parts of the movie is the storyline about Inigo Montoya and the 6-fingered man, the Count. The Count killed Inigo’s father when Inigo was a young boy. Inigo searches for the Count for the rest of his life in an attempt to avenge his father’s death. When he finally finds the Count, he holds a sword to his chest. The Count, begging for mercy, offers Inigo money, power…anything he wants. But, do you remember what he desired most of all – his father!
Can you relate? I can. If you have a strong relationship with your father, then you know the confidence, strength, and security that this relationship has given you. If your relationship with your father isn’t what you hoped it would be, then you also relate with the words of Inigo as you long for a strong relationship with your father. In either scenario, you know that your relationship with your father has shaped you in profound ways.
I meet teens everywhere who are either looking to a father for love and support or looking for a father in need of love and support.
Dads – think about those four words Inigo spoke, “I want my father!”
I can tell you as I’ve counseled with countless students of all ages, more than I can even remember – the conversation has eventually turned to an absent father, or a present, but checked-out, father. Our kids are looking to us dads – even when we don’t see evidence of such. They are learning to live watching how we live.
EMAIL OF THE NIGHT
The Email of the Night segment is from Jason, a senior in St. George, UT who wrote me to say, “My dad is super nice and everyone loves him. He is also very religious and involved in church. But, we don’t have much of a relationship. We don’t even talk much. It hasn’t always been this way. But, the last few years things have gotten worse. I can’t say that I know for sure what happened. I just know we don’t talk much any more. He doesn’t even try and make an effort. I bet my dad has no idea what’s going on in my life and sometimes I just wish he’d ask.”
I’m sure this story has another side to it. I wish we could also hear from the dad – hear his perspective. Nonetheless, Jason’s story reminds me as a parent, we have to work to stay involved in our kids lives.
Here on the JD Show, I have 5 Foundational Truths for everything I believe and want to share with you:
1. You are the most influential person in your teen’s life.
2. Your teen wants you to be involved.
3. You must know that culture’s cool never trump’s God’s truths.
4. You are a parent, not a pal.
5. You have to be willing to go there!
HOUR 1: SEGMENT 3
Tonight’s KEEP UP WITH WHAT’S UP take’s us to the Internet, to a very popular website for millennials: Sexetc.org
- Sexetc.is, in part, written by teen staff writers.
- The tagline of the site: “By teens for teens.”
- Over 5 million teens turn to the site each year for sexual advice.
I’ve spent a significant amount of time on the website and can tell you that it’s dangerous. The approach taken by the writers, though I am sure they would deny this, in my opinion is very pro-sex before marriage. Here are titles of a few articles I found this month:
- A Family Affair: One Brother, One Sister and Sex
- Being Transgender is Perfectly Normal
- Anal Sex: From Stigma to Facts
- All About Condoms
Though Sexetc. does offer advice on saying “no” to sex until marriage, they continually push the message that sex is a choice you can say yes to anytime you feel you are ready.
Millions of teens each year are turning to Sexetc. for advice I encourage every parent listening to spend some time on this site.
- Read the articles.
- There are many videos – sex, homosexuality, relationships – watch them.
- You may even want to watch some of these with your teen.
Is this uncomfortable? Maybe!
Only 27% of teens say parents have talked to their kids about sex.
– USA Today
It’s not about the “talks” approach. Instead, ask questions:
– “What do you think about that?”
– “What are your friends saying about sex?”
As a parent, your goal cannot be to hold the world back from your kid. – If this is your goal, you will fail! – It’s impossible.Your goal is to prepare them, so that whether it be in the locker room or at a friends house, your kid is prepared to respond in a way that is honoring to God. Amy and I often talk with our girls about the reality that the world is going to hate you when you choose to stand for what is right.
“If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first.”
– Jesus Christ
Rather than protecting my girls, I want to preparemy girls! I want to prepare them to respond to this ever-changing, ever-morally declining world in a way that trains them to see the world for what it is – a place of brokenness that can’t be fixed by anything or anyone other than the love of Jesus.
So, rather than be haters towards a website such as Sexetc. We instead have an opportunity to realize, it is what it is – – our response is to hold fast to what is true, right, noble, honorable and honoring to God. And, the key to all of this…being an involved parent, going the distance with our kids every step of the way – teaching them to discern God’s way from the world’s…and then praying like mad they choose His.
HOUR 1 SEGMENT 4
DEEP DIVE SEGMENT
This weeks SECOND DEEP DIVE segment highlights the top hits on iTunes this week. Let me be clear – the intended purpose of this segment is NOT to promote the hottest songs of the week. Instead, to bring attention to the character of the genre of songs that are getting the most downloads right now.
If you know iTunes, then you know that in the STORE Homepage are a variety sections. If you are on your device in front of you computer right now, why not go there with me and see exactly what I’m referring to right now. Under Best of the Week…
In the Top 50 Best of the Week, I’m counting…23 Explicit warnings (Red E)
Under the Top Songs category I see 3 songs with the Explicitwarning.
Under the Top Album category, I also see 3 songs with the Explicit warning.
Here on the JD Show, I’m going to keep pushing you to deep dive with this stuff so that you have a greater pulse on today’s pop culture.
As parents, we must remain students of our kids’ lives. Keeping up – isn’t an easy task, but it’s a necessary one that requires understanding that your teen isn’t the only student in the home. Simply stated, to understand the subculture that caters to teens means that you need to become a student of their subculture. If you want to know what’s truly going on in their world, you must strive to keep up with what’s up.
I know what you’re thinking: Jeffrey, I do all I can just to get through the day. And now you’re telling me I’ve got to do more, like listen to the songs they listen to, watch the movies they watch, and use the apps they use?
Well, yes and no. No, I am not saying that you must see everymovie, watch everyTV show, and know the lyrics to everysong they do. But yes, you must do more in the sense of not closing yourself off from their world. What if, by just taking a few extra minutes each day, you gained greater insight into the maddening messages competing for your teen’s attention—and then helped them discern what they hear, watch, or download?
“How do I do this?” you might ask. Well, I just gave you a lesson in such. Peruse iTunes from time to time.
Or, the next time you are in line at the grocery store, instead of catching up on “who cheated who” or “who got abducted by an alien” on the covers of those insane grocery store line magazines, reach instead for the latest copy of Teen Vogue or Seventeen magazine.
Check out the ads. You don’t have to read all the articles. Read the headline of the articles – you’ll learn a lot in a few sentences about how pop culture is competing for your kids attention.
At home, spend a few minutes online each week searching “popular teen sites.” This is actually how I was first introduced to the popular teen site we looked at earlier in the show: Sexetc.
As you do your research, take in the language. Read the chats. Get a greater sense of what teens are talking about, what they are watching…
Knowledge – – is – – power! The more you know, the more you know. And, the more equipped you are to lead your family in the right direction!
I’m also going to remind you often as I did earlier in the show:
If you believe your sole mission is to protect your family from the outside world, you, and they, will fail. Let me explain in greater detail.
First, we live in a fallen world. Sin is rampant. So unless you’re going to keep your kids under lock and key and hidden away in the basement until they are twenty, this approach won’t work. The world is waiting, and one day you’re going to have to set them free.
Second, even if you unplugged the TV, smashed their cell phone, set the computer on fire, destroyed their iPad, and unsubscribed to Netflix, your kids would still be impacted by the world. The madness is everywhere. Your mission cannot be to keep them completely sheltered from the world’s influence; this is impossible. Even with the best of intentions, you will fail.
Your real mission is not to hide the world from them. It is to help them filter the messages of the world through God-focused lenses. Or to put it another way, it’s to teach them discernment—the ability to distinguish good from evil, to categorize what’s helpful and what’s harmful, and to make decisions that lead to a life of walking a little differently, sometimes a lot differently, regardless of the popular path taken by the world.
HOUR 2 SEGMENT 1
Welcome back to hour 2 of The Jeffrey Dean Show. The show that is helping build strong families.
Happy Father’s Day to fathers’ everywhere tonight. I am confident that the hearts’ desire of so many of our nation’s kids is for an involved father! Regardless of how old you are, if you area father, you never stop being a father.
A question for all dads tonight: Can I do more?
Only you know the answer to this question. As I am asking this question, I am answering, “Yes!” I know I can do more. I know I need to do more to be more involved, more engaged, more intentional, a more focused father. I’m good in some areas of parenting. I need work in others.
Ask yourself: “Can I do more?”
Can I do more to help make my family stronger?
Can I give more of my time?
Can I spend less time on Facebook and more time face to face with my kids?
Can I focus less on my short game and more on the short 17-18 years I have with my child or children before they graduate?
Can I live a life before my kids and my spouse that says, “I want to give you more of me so that we can be a more connected family, a more in-sync family, and a more unified family?
If your family is important to you, this show needs to matter to you.
If you have kids, it’s a no brainer. You need this show.
Specifically, if you have a teen, you can’t afford not to listen.
If you’re a newlywed, work with students, are a teacher, pastor, grandparent, single, divorced…okay if you’re breathing you need this show.
As I tell people all over the country: Each of us impacts the life of another in some way every day! This millennial generation is the future of our nation – they are our future moms and dads. They are our future leaders, our future teachers, doctors, service men and women…this generation of students should matter to each of us because – – listen to this:
As we raise them, as we lead them, as we influence them and as we treat them – – thisdetermines the future of our nation.
In short: How we each live shapes how they live!
A close friend asked me last week: “What is the goal of the show?’
That’s easy: “Help build strong families!”
Let’s talk about family for a moment…Earth’s first family was the Adam & Eve family– the bible records their story. And, here on The Jeffrey Dean Show, if the bible says it, I believe it! Adam – an amazing life…
But, something was missing – – Genesis 2: “Adam needed a suitable helper!”
Adam had been looking at horses, and geese and sheep. He goes to sleep. Awakens…and, oh my…he has never seen anything like this before…“Woman!”
An amazing life, but things change pretty fast in the Adam & Eve household. Genesis 4 says they had 2 sons – – you know they had heard the story countless times of how God created them, Eve from Adam’s rib…One brother gets mad at the other and kills him! Just 4 chapters into the bible – – jealousy, envy, deceit, & murder!
Adam & Eve had to live with the reality that one of their sons killed the other. And, they actually lost two sons that day. Because of his choice to kill his brother, God said to him: “You will now be a restless wanderer.” These parents lived the rest of their lives with pain over the choices of their son. Earth’s very first family had issues! Funk!
And, every family since has funk.
We know Adam & Eve went on to parent. The bible tells us they had more sons and daughters. I don’t know the parenting style of Adam and Eve, but I’m fairly certain they didn’t encourage one son to kill another. As a parent, their story reminds me that, and this is really important:
You can’t make their choices, but you can help shape their choices.
HOUR 2 SEGMENT 2
So, how do you have a good time with your family?
I’m always looking for a way to mix it up and have some quality good times with my wife and girls. That’s why I love this segment – it’s a new one & it pretty much speaks for itself. This is the GOOD TIMES SEGMENT.
Our newest segment: GOOD TIMES(we had a little help with that song from the artist Owl City) just might be my favorite segment yet.
I love having good times with my daughters. And, so far, they love having good times with me. I hope they always do. We asked you, our listeners, to let us know about some of the things you do to have “good times” moments with your family. Here were a few offered suggestions:
Go To Church Together
A part of establishing the right family atmosphere is making sure your family sees that church is an important part of your family’s life. It is good for your kid’s to go to church. But it is even better for them to go to church with you. Of course, this is often easier said than done.
One parent wrote me to say, “My daughter thinks that church is boring. She’s given it a try, but she doesn’t like the youth group and says that the other teens ignore her. Should I let her stay home, or should I make her go anyway?”
My answer: maybe one, maybe the other.
I hear this complaint often from teens. Some use such a statement as an excuse to sleep in on Sundays, and you need to recognize it as such! For others, it is a legitimate issue. You may need to take a serious look at the authenticity and/or effectiveness of your church’s youth program.
I encourage you not to force church upon your teen but instead take action in positive ways. Talk with adult volunteers in the youth department. Take your youth pastor out for coffee. If they are unresponsive to your concerns or you are unsatisfied with what you discover, and if your teen continues to say they do not feel fed in the present worship environment, you may need to take extreme measures.
I am not suggesting that every parent whose teen complains about a place of worship should simply find a new one. Only after much consideration, prayer, and confirmation from God should such a step ever be taken. But I am also not opposed to this if it is in the best interest of your teen and if it will encourage your teen to explore a deeper relationship with God in a different church environment. The key is to find a Bible-believing church where you can grow and serve as a family.
Take the Lead in Communication
One of the greatest ways you can show your teen “I believe in you,” while also proving yourself trustworthy in their eyes is through consistent communication. They may not initiate such communication, particularly when it comes to talking about intimate and personal subjects. So, you may have to work creatively to bring up the serious stuff.
If you do not talk with your teen about the hard issues of life, who will?
Talking about things such as sex, pornography, school life, and peer pressure may not be the easiest and most comfortable conversations you have with your teen. But what’s important here is not how comfortable you are; it’s that your teen feels your solid impact in their life. When you take charge in communicating authentic Biblical truths to your teen, you teach them how to discern what is truth and what is lies from the world.
Listen to what sixteen-year-old Stephen said this to me: “I have been struggling with lust since I was in eighth grade. It’s embarrassing, and I don’t know what to do. My dad is so involved at church—he probably would die if I ever talked to him about all of this. But I wish I could.”
Most likely Stephen’s dad isn’t intentionally avoiding the lust issue with his son. He’s just not making the effort to go there. What he doesn’t realize is that, by not creating an environment in the home that says to his son “I’m approachable and unshockable – you can tell me anything,” his son is left having to figure out this very real and potentially dangerous struggle on his own. What his dad, and every dad, needs to know is that if your kid can’t come to you with these issues, your kid will go somewhere and to someone else for help and hope.
This should be at the top of the priority list for every parent!!!!
Make it a priority to spend time every day in relevant communication with your kids.
Relevant communication can happen wherever and whenever—while playing ball, working in the yard, driving in the car, or just watching TV. Maybe they won’t talk at first. The more you talk, the more they will view you as trustworthy. The more you are trusted, most likely, the more they will begin to open up.
HOUR 2 SEGMENT 3
Studies show 1 in 3 teens deals with depression.
Suicide – the second leading cause of death for 13-21 yr olds. And, many teens with whom I’ve counseled tell me that at one point or another they’ve considered ending it all.
That’s why our involvement, our commitment to go the distance with our kids is so critical! As one mom in Detroit told me – – “As parents we never stop loving – we never stop trying.”
Tonight we are turning our attention towards Father’s. Happy Father’s Day to all daddy’s listening tonight!
In the last segment I encouraged fathers to:
- Go to church with their family.
- To take the lead in communication.
Here’s another thought dads:
Consistently take time to get away from work, school, and home and hang out with your teen. Pick a night once a week, or biweekly, or just whenever you feel like it, and go and have fun. See a movie. Play basketball. Ride go-carts. Go hiking, swim, shop, ski, hunt, play golf, or throw darts – whatever your kids would love.
My oldest daughter – her love language is music and movies.
By the way parents, if going to the movies is your thing too – the Movie Passis the way to go – $10/month! We’ve been to two movies this week!
My youngest loves to get her nails done. I’ll admit, the foot massage is pretty awesome.
Yes, guys get their nails done too! Don’t judge!
These moments are making memories that I believe will last a lifetime for both of my daughters and for me!
When I ask teens for one way they would improve their relationships with their dads if they could, they overwhelmingly say, “Spend more time together!”
Have you ever said anything like this?
- “It’s just this one time to be away. I know I already promised my son I’d be there, but this meeting out of town could make or break my career.”
- “I don’t need to spend time with my kids in the Word. I’m tired tonight. Plus, isn’t that why our church hired a youth pastor?”
- “I’d better not ask my daughter too many questions about who she’s going out with tonight and where they’re going. She may think I’m being nosy. If she wants to talk, she’ll come to me.”
- “I’d better not bring up that subject with my son. He’ll figure it out on his own. I did, right?”
With my speaking schedule, I’ve missed many moments away from my girls. As a parent, you know also there are times when work calls, and we have to answer. But, I also know that I’ve only got about eighteen years with my daughters before they leave for college. This is why prioritizing time with them is so critical. Time leads to communication, and communication leads to having a positive impact in your teen’s life.
Teach Respect to Your Son
What is your son learning about how he should treat women by watching your life? Your son will treat women they way you treat women. Period. He is also watching the example of culture in this regard. Countless media images today show people disrespecting one another. People work out their differences by insults and putdowns. This is particularly true of guys—guys are taught to be jerks to one another and to women. And in such an environment, I can think of no greater example to model for your teen than the one carried out by Jesus on the cross.
John 19:25–27 reads, “Near the cross of Jesus stood his mother.… When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, ‘Dear woman, here is your son,’ and to the disciple, ‘Here is your mother.’ From that time on, this disciple took her into his home.”
In other words, after having been beaten, spit on, stripped of His clothes, cursed at, slapped, kicked, mocked, ridiculed, and then nailed to a cross, and within moments of breathing His last breath, Jesus was more concerned about His mother than about His own personal pain. What an incredible act and example for all men!
Jesus made respect cool that day. As a father, you can help your teen see that respect is still cool today, particularly when it comes to respecting women. I remember well the first few months of dating my future wife. Amy’s father spoke to me one evening as she and I were leaving for a date: “Jeffrey, protect her tonight. She is my only daughter.”
I have never forgotten the overwhelming sense of responsibility that I took upon myself that night after hearing these words from him. The same is true of your son and the young women in his life. Not only is it his responsibility to model Jesus’s actions by respecting the women with whom he comes in contact, but it is also his responsibility to protect them. For instance, on a date, it is your son’s responsibility to respect and protect his date by never placing her in any environment where there is the potential for something dangerous to happen. This means never parking somewhere alone, being careful about the movies they watch, never going to a party where there are drugs and alcohol, and more. Does your son know this?
HOUR 2 SEGMENT 4
Teach Security and Significance to Your Daughter
When my daughter Bailey was five, she gave me a birthday card she had made herself. The card read:
Bailey loves you very much. I will always be your best friend forever. Even when I am older, I will always love you and be your best friend.
Now that she is sixteen, I remind her of this card all the time! I probably need to have the card laminated so I can wear it around my neck every time her friends come over!
When she wrote this card for me, Bailey hadn’t even started kindergarten. Now that she is a teen, she relies on me more than ever before to help her feel secure. Before she wanted affirmation when she drew a picture. Now, she wants affirmation about so many other things that are important to her such as her grades, her friendships and more. She wants me to celebrate her successes in school. She smiles when I tell her how beautiful she is. She loves it when I pray with her. If she ever is having a bad day, she wants me right there beside her to comfort her. She has given me the distinct pleasure of occupying a special space in her heart. No matter her age, she will always look to me for security and significance.
Believe it or not, even when she’s a teen, you are still your daughter’s hero. She may not tell you or run and jump into your arms like she once did. But she still needs you to make her feel special, secure, and significant. She still needs you to say with your life, your time, and your involvement, “I believe in you.”
In a world of confusing and often misleading messages, teen girls are persuaded to fit the mold, have the look, build the body, and get the guy. Here are a few of the lies the world uses to get into your daughter’s heart:
- To be popular with the boys, you need to dress sexy.
- Only skinny girls are loved. Go ahead and purge.
- You absolutely must have a boyfriend to feel secure.
- Never talk to your parents about anything. They won’t understand.
What’s a dad to do?
First, realize your teen daughter still needs you. Even if she never tells you so anymore, she needs you involved in her life. And, it’s your biblical responsibility. Our enemy wants you to believe otherwise. He wants you to believe, especially with your daughter, that this is mom’s responsibility.
Second, develop a game plan for involvement. You know your daughter. You know her likes and dislikes. You know her favorite foods, her favorite boy bands, her favorite music, her favorite movies, her favorite store to shop at, and a whole lot more. (Hint: If you don’t, ask her mom.) Now, take the knowledge you have and make it work for you.
One father emailed me to say he did this. “One night a month is just for me and Kiley. We go out, we eat, and we see a movie or go watch a game. We grab coffee and we make a date of it. I’ll admit it was a little awkward for us both at first. But we’ve been doing this for two years now, and we’ve never been closer. She talks to me and shares things with me that I never dreamed she would. She has this place in her life that she lets me into. She leaves for college this year, and I will cherish forever these past two years spending time together.”
What if it doesn’t go as smoothly as this for you? Start slowly. Build trust one step at a time. Ask your daughter what she would like to do. And let her know that you just want to take some time to be together. Maybe it’s something like this:
- creating a date night once a month where you go out for ice cream
- asking her how her day went
- writing her a letter telling her what she means to you
- telling her she’s beautiful
- hugging her
As a father, you play a critical role in the process of helping your daughter feel loved, needed, and secure. Live a life before her that says, “I believe in you.” You will help her not get lost in all the lies. Of course, both you and I will always be second to the security and significance she hopefully learns to find in her relationship with God. But, as the fathers God chose for our daughters, we both have a powerful and irreplaceable role in their lives!
Tonight we close the show with an email I received from a mother of two young children as she reflects on the impact her dad has had in her life:
“When I was growing up, my dad was so good about the little things – we talked about my life, my dreams, my concerns over school, my body, boys, and more. He had this way of helping me expect more of myself and he never made me feel like I needed to change anything about me. My dad wasn’t perfect, but he sure made me feel perfect. Now that he’s gone, there aren’t too many days that go by that I don’t think about him. Of all I can say about my dad – the most important thing I believe he did in my life was to teach me to be happy with me no matter what I faced, or what anyone did to me – my dad instilled in my confidence that I know has carried me and will continue to do so all of my life.”
REMEMBER: The key to remaining family strong – – prayer!
The family that prays together stays together.