Building Strong Families: A Parent Seminar at Donelson Christian Academy Session 1
3.25.19: How Culture Is Influencing the Family
Our goal for the Building Strong Families Seminar:
(This can vary from family to family.)
Here are 3:
1. I pursue an even stronger marriage.
2. I work to be a more aware parent.
3. I strive to do my part to build a strong family.
It all begins with: FAMILY
Family is where we learn to trust others.
Family is where we first experience to love.
Family is where we discover how to forgive.
Family is where we develop confidence in one another.
Family is where we learn how to face life’s obstacles and become victorious together.
Every child is only one choice from consequence, only one turn from tragedy.
I have to work hard to build a strong family!
WE ARE AT WAR!
Satan hates me.
Satan hates my family.
Satan hates my marriage.
Satan hates MY kids!
” The thief has come to steal, kill & destroy.”
– John 10:10
“…to steal” = to deceive – – – – – “…to kill” = to sacrifice – – – – – “…to destroy” = to perish eternally
How Culture Is Influencing the Family
1. SOCIAL MEDIA REIGNS
“When I am sitting at home on the weekend and I see many of my friends snapping and tweeting, it makes me feel like I’m missing out on all the fun. It also makes me feel ‘less than’ because I’m not doing whatever it is they are doing. When I do snap or tweet, I feel like I am saying to the world, ‘Look at me! My life is important too!’” – Jamie, 17
What does this obsession say about what our kids think of themselves?
– They fear being overlooked.
– They crave attention.
– They overdo things in an attempt to fit in.
Send direct snaps back and forth with someone for consecutive days. The longer teens go without missing a day, the longer the streak. Snapchat uses emojis to reward users who have long streaks.
– Snapchat’s official definition of “snap streak”
“When I see others having a lot of streaks, I view those people as popular and think,Man, I’ve got to have that too.”
“I even wake up early on school days just so I can keep my streaks alive.”
As a parent, I have to be willing to ask myself:
How do my socials influence my life?
How do my socials influence how I use my free time?
How do my socials influence how much time I communicate with my spouse? My kids?
How do my socials influence how much time I spend in the Word & in prayer?
2. IT’S ALL ABOUT “ME”
– Social media and self-obsession go hand in hand.
“Sure, most of us guys are consumed with our bodies. We see NFL players who are cut and are awesome athletes. We all want to have amazing bodies. I guess you could say it’s our obsession.”
– Gabe, Southeast Missouri State Football Team, WR
Selfies and pics aren’t merely snapshots of how our kids are living; they are demonstrations of kids’ obsession with getting the perfect selfie, which has changed how they live.
– Jeffrey Dean, The Fight Of Your Life
3. I HAVE TO BE BETTER LOOKING
– It’s no secret that the fashion industry manipulates how models look in photos.
– Promoting unrealistic body image and false conceptions of physical beauty.
– Users can disguise, hide, shed, and fix just about anything they don’t like in a picture of themselves.
– More than a 100 million users
– Has “slimify” and “blemish fix” options.
– Can whiten your teeth and give you a spray tan.
All of this alerts me to the reality that I have to work hard to remind my kids that their value, beauty, and significance aren’t defined by how many likes they amass or how well they develop their glamorizing skills while doctoring a photo.
In what appears to be merely innocent tweets, posts, and snaps, the Enemy is working to instill in young people the idea:
“You will never be enough…but keep trying!”
“Work-out, diet, purge, pierce, cut…do whatever you have to be better!”
As WE ALL becomes more self-absorbed, Satan wants us ALL to grow less and less spiritually.
4. “NO RULES!” RULES!
– This is the KEY statement of the day. This is THE guiding principle of Gen Z students.
– It’s @ what works, what benefits them, what makes sense & less about what is right.
– 83% 12-18’s believe moral truth depends on circumstances.
5. RELIGION NOT RELATIONSHIP
They are very religious.But religion = whatever you want it to be.
Spiritual slogan:“I choose mine, you choose yours and we are all good.”
6. LET’S CHANGE THE WORLD
– This Generation wants to make the world a better place.
– They are eEngaged in movements that promote change and empower people and communities to thrive. They believe in social justice and have little tolerance for those who don’t.
– I meet teens everywhere who are concerned about the environment, freeing young girls from the sex-slave trade, providing clean drinking water to those in need, feeding the poor, and more.
This provides for a tremendous opportunity to mold their aspirations in a way that teaches them not only to do good in the world but also to point the world to Jesus Christ.
Even in this realm, the Enemy will work to convince families that meeting the world’s economic, social, political, and humanitarian needs is good enough. But it’s not!
THE GREATEST ATTRIBUTE:
Gen Z’s desire to make the world a better world.
THE MOST IMPORTANT HUMANITARIAN NEED:
People need life-change that can only come through a personal relationship found in Jesus Christ.
We need to help our kids see that through humanitarian efforts there is an even greater evangelistic opportunity. – – Matthew 28:18–20
7. SIN IS IN!
– Difficult statement to make – for many, it isn’t that they say, “Hey, I’m sinning!”
“I know right from wrong. But, I want to see what works for me. If it works, I’ll probably jump in, no matter if it’s right or wrong and no matter the consequence.”
– Jalee, 17
8. “I’M NOT SURE THE BIBLE IS COMPLETELY TRUE.”
– This culture (& this generation) is extremely spiritual.
– But although many believe in God, their beliefs about Him often are defined by the culture, not the Bible.
In The Jesus Survey,more than 800 Christians were asked about God, heaven, the Bible, and Jesus. The results:
– 86% said they believe that the Bible is somewhat trustworthy
– 70% doubt that what the Bible says about Jesus is true.
Such a revelation should alarm you! Key: Who or what is to blame?
– Satan, of course. The culture, absolutely. The church, probably.
Here is THE DEFINING CONCLUSION I HAVE after more than 25 years spent working with families, specifically LISTENING to students. I can say with confidence:
THE BLAME RESTS ON US: PARENTS
Most parents don’t care enough to make sure their kids believe the Bible is the infallible Word of God.
Rather than debate with yourself the degree to which the statement applies to your family, answer these critical questions:
How often is my family reading or studying the Bible together?
When was the last time my family had a spiritual discussion about the authenticity of the Bible?
Do I pray consistently that God’s Spirit will protect my family from the onslaught of Satan’s lies?
What is my strategy for prioritizing the Word of God in my family?
How can it be improved?
Satan will lie in countless ways. He wants you to believe:
I’m too busy.
My child is fine. – Life is good!
I don’t know enough about the bible.
The church has it.
My child’s school will do it.
I’m not capable because of my past.
AND, THE BIG ONE: My child is a Christian. It’s all good.
Satan works hard to deceive me & my family to believe that what the Bible says about creation, God, Jesus, the cross, heaven, and hell – – it’s all a lie!
He knows that if he can convince me & my kids to doubt the reliable truth of Scripture, he has a good chance of getting your walk to walk away from God or…to live an apathetic life!
9. PORN IS THE NORM
– The #1 struggle of Gen Z’s.
– The #1 issue parents contact our ministry concerning their kids.
– Most I’ve counsel tell me, “I’ve viewed porn.”
-93% of male college students and 62% of female college students said they had seen online porn before they were eighteen.
– More than two out of five young people age ten to seventeen who use the internet say they’ve seen online pornography in the past year.
Here’s what you need to know: Porn WILL find my child. It isn’t a question of “If,” but “When?
10. SEX IS NO BIG DEAL
– Exposure to pornography skews perceptions about what constitutes a healthy relationship.
– To many Gen Z’s, porn and sex are as routine as anything else in their busy lives.
– Satan works overtime to convince them that anyone who believes otherwise is out of touch with reality.
I am confident our churches need to play a role in this.
I am confident DCA NEEDS to play a better role in this.
But, at the top of the list, it MUST START AT HOME!!!
BUILDING STRONG FAMILIES: THE FOUNDATION
1. I am the most influential person in my child’s life.
More than any friend, coach, teacher, pastor, boyfriend, girlfriend, jock star, or pop star, students overwhelming say “mom and dad are the greatest influence in my life.” The question isn’t “Do you influence?” Rather, “What is your influence?
2. My child wants (and needs) an involved parent.
As my kid’s grow and mature, I may parent differently but I can’t parent less.
3. I must teach that culture’s cool never trump’s God’s truths.
No matter what is culturally accepted, culturally relevant, or culturally cool, nothing trumps the truth of God’s Word. And, it is up to me to communicate His truths to my family
4. I am a parent, not a pal.
Your kid’s doesn’t need you to be their friend. They need you to be their parent.
5. I have to be willing to go there!
Whatever the topic and no matter the fallout, you have to be a parent willing to go therewhen it comes to the difficult, or potentially awkward, topics of conversation.
Your son/daughter doesn’t need another person in their life merely telling them what they want to hear. You need to be the one constant voice of reason and truth willing to talk about anything and determined to compromise nothing.
God hasn’t given up on my child. He still dreams big for my child!
A Family Mission Statement includes an important word: FAMILY
A conversation that begins with you & your spouse.
It continues with your kids.
To get your free FAMILY MISSION STATEMENT packet:
Text the words: Family Mission
To #: 345345